I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
