it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
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I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
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So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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