i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
