Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
