I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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