She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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