Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
