i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
