I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize