So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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