dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
