You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
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I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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