I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize