True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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