Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (586) Bad night (2092)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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  (913): Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor. http://tfl.nu/qg7g
  Replies (35) Good night (5183) Bad night (728)
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  (209): View more from California

  i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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  (209): i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you http://tfl.nu/qjob
  Replies (4) Good night (1051) Bad night (3691)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Her vagina smelled like chicken

  (1-605): View more from South Dakota

  why do you say that

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  chicken smells like everything

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  (605): Her vagina smelled like chicken (1-605): why do you say that (605): chicken smells like everything http://tfl.nu/rfgv
  Replies (43) Good night (851) Bad night (3648)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..

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  (515): It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now.. http://tfl.nu/43y7
  Replies (23) Good night (5531) Bad night (717)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Two words Indian burn...

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  What did she think it was, a shake weight?

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  (806): Two words Indian burn... (1-806): What did she think it was, a shake weight? http://tfl.nu/39re
  Replies (27) Good night (1181) Bad night (5811)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"

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  (508): Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic" http://tfl.nu/1wpy
  Replies (30) Good night (2440) Bad night (3053)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.

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  (478): There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect. http://tfl.nu/c9bw
  Replies (36) Good night (1379) Bad night (5760)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working

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  (289): Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working http://tfl.nu/bi46
  Replies (3) Good night (1049) Bad night (3781)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.

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  (570): he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough. http://tfl.nu/fko8
  Replies (8) Good night (4984) Bad night (798)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

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  (403): Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours http://tfl.nu/wscg
  Replies (9) Good night (1381) Bad night (646)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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  (270): Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband. http://tfl.nu/lfj6
  Replies (10) Good night (2090) Bad night (745)
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  (949): View more from California

  One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.

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  (949): One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers. http://tfl.nu/qlpq
  Replies (6) Good night (1860) Bad night (525)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping

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  (224): you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping http://tfl.nu/igay
  Replies (5) Good night (1854) Bad night (541)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.

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  (512): I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home. http://tfl.nu/rsl1
  Replies (11) Good night (1388) Bad night (741)

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