Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize