OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
