My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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