Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
