believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
