Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
