I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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