I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
