In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
