Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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