OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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