i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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