Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
