There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
