I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
