i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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