Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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