fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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