I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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