Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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