I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
