I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
