i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
