Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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