We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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