Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
