Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
