i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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