I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
they need to just BURY HIM!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
