in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize