He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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