Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
