Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got inside last night via doggy door
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
