good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
