So drunk, too bad you don't want this
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize