I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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