If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
