Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
