Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Damn victory sex feels great
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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