It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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