There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
