Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he puts the penis in happiness.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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