I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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