I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize