his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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