Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
